“Ayla, I looked for you all my life and didn't know I was looking.
You are everything I ever wanted, everything I ever dreamed of in a woman,
and more. You are a fascinating enigma, a paradox.
You are totally honest, open; you hide nothing:
yet you are the most mysterious woman I've ever met.”
― Jean M. Auel, The Valley of Horses
― Jean M. Auel, The Valley of Horses
There are days you dream about,and there are ones destined for you,even you never thought they would happen.
At times when heaven erupts with love and affection,to please every human being and let magic flatters its wings,everyone believes in a change after many dreams have gone unrealized.And i knew i would have such a night for me,following my truthful and weird nature .
On the night when crystal ice makes every tree feels hurt and coldness streams around the globe,a young girl made a decision to set off on a long journey toward her dreamy home,situated about the halfway down the fairy trail.She bravely pursued her dreams and let her intuition be a guidance.Walking in deep snow to have covered the rudeness of ground here and there,she vividly rushed in the course of her passion and fears, leaving little tracks behind,being aware they would disappear,as soon as a new creamy layer had fallen ;and there was no regret about anything she knew,only the joy and her desire to merge her world into the white beauty and purity,....ah,how easy it would be to erase some stages of life made by mistake and frivolity!
Still,there was the morning's prelude,and besides her to eagerly look at the horizon,few crows were circling chaotically,or rather,it was just her impression,to have nothing to do with reality,as she often felt about herself.Hence,distant cawing voices were in a living harmony with the soul waiting for a new tune.The expectation is the essence of everything.
She craved for some things beyond earthly realms,because she believed to deserve much more after prolonged expectation and self accusation.Presently,the stillness and simplicity of cold and proud winter's landscapes,arranged with trees here and there,made her feel so comfortable in spite of frost to mercilessly haunt every single thing around.The bewitching and idyllic ambient,was favorable to take one's sorrow and melancholy away.As she walked,thoughts came one after another,strung,like the cobwebs of ages caught in a dusty ornament.However,there are whirls of emotions to rise upon the valleys and lightly strive for solace, somewhere beyond the sights.And having lost her previous discomfort,it seemed to her that she looked at the same tree,a frozen,evergreen youth,whose lines were drawn by the same hand once ago.Suddenly,it became easier for her to feel the warmth and love of an abandoned world.
Enchanted and alone amongst the snowdrifts,she walked confidentially in the direction,chosen lovingly and hardily.A long time ago, Aurornis' delightful eye spotted this White Magic,honoring first cries and stirs after a frozen world had raised under the layers of passionate and ebullient scenery.She was blessed and favored by whiteness,as the most dominant color,knowing that even in the darkness you can reach through the walls of quietness and speak a different language.There was a time when she meditated on the white to shine clarity and pureness,like maiden beauty to feed herself on love and grace,and an elegance to reveal itself through the spirit and mental attitude,pursuing for happiness.
It was late in the afternoon,when she arrived at the solely mountain cottage,pleasurably situated in its solitude and far from the world known to us,as a man at times suffers and finds condolence in the loneliness.When she passed through the gate to open a glittering and sparkling backyard,she discovered a charming villa with pastel blue towers,so alluring,immersed into beautiful outer decoration.Then,she willingly stepped into the house,and looked around the foyer.Her tremor and sadness had immediately absorbed a warm and spiritual atmosphere,to soar joyfully in the every angle of her new home.
At the center of living room,a round table covered with lace crochet cloth,and light burgundy brocade chairs, gave a noble impression,reaching its harmony to the windows,decorated with blush ballgown draperies,while the bed placed against the wall,distantly reflected late Sun's rays to penetrate through the windows. Everything corresponded to the late champagne shine,yet,very soon,she hurried to light a fire in the fireplace. The wooden logs were prepared and arranged in vertical columns,and she knew,these were first token of the striking set of events to come.At the moment,all she wanted was to plunge into serenity,having a mundane experience left behind.
Settling herself comfortably down in a gilt brocade armchair,she let gracefulness carry her away,while closing the eyes...
Soon the silver breath of frost filled the room,a tall young man came in,shaking snow off the shoulders and carefully approaching to her.She was not surprised to see him,and it was weird..,...
-Where have you been so long?-she summoned up the power to ask-I waited for you,patiently and eagerly,as day follows night and night a day,along with dissipating fragrance and premonitions of my dreams..
-I looked for you,but i had never taken the right road....or i didn't listen to properly,..- tender voice softened the silence while he sat by her.
-Were the voices real or delusive?Maybe they misled you,spreading lies..
-I have wrongly believed that dreams would come to life by themselves,and waited too long,..i was cowardice-he said.
-No,no my darling,-she stopped him-my only true love,everything is shimmering,everything is just fine,don't let anything destroy our feelings about the night we have,...i knew it from the beginning,.
-You knew we had just a few hours for us,alike the butterflies fluttering around our souls?
-Yes,for our love is heavenly surprise,a lone night ranger to leave his gift,while the angelus bells ring once for lifetime,..coming of her own free will,feeling uncomfortable with cruelty and ruddiness of reality...it lasts as long as a day and night together...like a life conceived and died in a mo..
-Even so,i shall always love you-he said,holding her hand and touching her face so gently,that passion left frozen behind,and proceeded-life is senseless without your love..oh,i meant to say,without love,anyway i shall love you even you leave me,..
-Never think of that again,and never doubt,..my life belongs to you,my youth and years yet to come,all my hidden world and inspiration,all imaginable things to share together;when i fell in love with you,i was enchanted and dazzled by the beauty and strength of emotions,to surpass everything i felt before, an untouched reality and most beautiful sentiment in my life,continence of first love,,..i learned about nocturne romantic and why the lovers eternally seek each other after departure..,loving you is like saying farewell to the life i knew before.
-Love at first sight made me lunatic..since then,i have become a ghostly appearance of this world,
nevertheless i persistently sought fragments of my happiness and never found;i feel,there is something in the space,a refined and spiritual gift,to rise one's sensibility and turn it into injustice for the vicinity,while the universe gets hurt,losing its balance ...consequently,a human must suffer and stand pain and soreness alone,for a man is allowed so little,just enough to begin and end a dream.-his soft and subtle voice followed a glance into the invisible skies,as he expected plaudits from the emptiness..
-I spoke to myself in my solitude,looking for answers,but thoughts disappeared in the mirror of a day..yet,there were gems of nights when i saw you in my dreams -her words,a mix of sweetness and sorrow,filled his hazel eyes to bear some mystique and warmth,being so sincere,you could always trust them ..it is one of the finest characteristics of a male,,...the eyes you feel wherever you go,..sweet tenderness
-The same nights fell upon me,..i wished for you,but dreams went hollow,without passion,..why? Who adopted them?Oh,heavenly injustice,to take our enthusiastic vigor,and let wintry air possess us,turning rouge into mortality.Anyway,eyes are already closed for the beauty of this world,.. and the layers of whiteness to have stored craving and suffering of the past times,are already laid out-shortly,after saying that, he walked away,as midnight approached,to bring two glasses of her favorite red wine ,.-.a toast to our nightmares,to our solace and delusions,missing smiles and ardent nights,blooding trace of the moon unwillingly taken from the earth,to be the only ally they had.
Have i wanted to kiss me..?-shying thought,but again,something strange,his presence was all i desired,and our talks,,,yes, we missed a talk so much...
-If i had another life and only one wish for myself,my wish would be knowing you...i could forget everything and everyone i knew but you...I loved you so much,and now,being together,i have puzzling feelings about a long time we were apart.. .how to justify love and time of loneliness when you mean more than a whole life to me.
-Oh my love,we must have been waiting for each other,while years passed by,leaving us alone with dreams and hopes,...and then,we felt more restrained,at first it was fear,then,there was just a thought of you like a safe harbor; ..i was afraid of very strong feelings i had,so perfectly paired our hearts,and so much grace in one night,that heaven stole our happiness....,for madness runs after the heights,anyway.. -now her voice became a high resonant shimmer.
They both were thrilled,for time was passing so quickly,and the bright horizon would gladly melt the obscurity of night,not recognizing lovers anymore,...
Powerless and unable to make a night prolonged,she closed her eye obeying the fate,...
As the frosty shadows drew Christmas silver,ornamental leaves and branches on the outer glass panes,he felt how this view vanishes along with his dreams,and he knew,it was time to look at her eyes last time,with sadness and yearning like he wanted to engulf all the magic and hold it forever..
Quote by Jean M. Auel
'At the end of a year we always try to raise our spirits beyond environmental contentments,sending our best wishes to everyone we know;luckily,we have friends from all around the world,we have a new way of communication,and it is a great achievement and gift for us.People i met in this virtual world made me happier and became my true inspiration,as well as you,coming here and reading my blog.
'Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.'
- Marcel Proust
A book is a gift you can open again and again.
- Garrison Keillor
Merry Christmas and Best Wishes
for a Happy New Year!
A man is at his finest towards the finish of the year;
He is almost what he should be when the Christmas season's here;
Then he's thinking more of others than he's thought the months before,
And the laughter of his children is a joy worth toiling for.
He is less a selfish creature than at any other time;
When the Christmas spirit rules him he comes close to the sublime.”
― Edgar A. Guest
“At one time, most of my friends could hear the bell, but as years passed, it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I've grown old, the bell still rings for me, as it does for all who truly believe.”
― Chris Van Allsburg, The Polar Express
“Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves.”
― Eric Sevareid
“Then she saw a star fall, leaving behind it a bright streak of fire. “Someone is dying,” thought the little girl, for her old grandmother, the only one who had ever loved her, and who was now dead, had told her that when a star falls, a soul was going up to God.”
― Hans Christian Andersen, The Little Match Girl
Jean M. Auel, The Valley of Horses