ME:Will you take me to a short journey into my childhood days?
WIZARD:Why do you want to go back?
ME:I wish i could see myself as a little girl
WIZARD:It is easy,just put your imagination in move or look at a picture of your childhood
ME:But i wish to rediscover some secrets from the time i was just a child.
WIZARD:I knew that you didn't tell me the truth
ME:Maybe i was afraid of other people's reaction
WIZARD:There is a big difference between the two worlds-Childhood and Maturity ;
to feel and experience your youngest days you need to live another time again
ME:I need it right now,for i write a story
WIZARD:I shall give you a glimpse into past times,and nothing more..perhaps you will
find a little nook for me on your pages..to keep me from being forgotten;you see,
i live in one's memory,from century to century people pass their testimonies
and keep me alive.....if there were no reminiscence i would die..
ME:It sounds like recall of a fire that people once kept burning ....
WIZARD:Only it is about LIGHT now..good memories light up the future,
but bad ones bring calamity and misery;every time a man lights up a path,we all step into bright days;each time one starts a war it brings us back into
the darkness...it is not easy to get out of the HELL..
I am sure even there was a visitor to darken and puzzle my childhood,
i would bring about but pure brightness for you and me....Thank you my dear WIZARD!
WIZARD:Good luck with your endeavors and aspirations,there is a reward for everyone who
is able to revive their youth....and that is great SECRET!should i reopen it for You,it takes from
you to make a new path for others who are brave enough just like you are,,.Will you?,,
..anyway with no special promise i shall tell you it,because i know that you already
reigned a secret ..You won old age...so every time you make a path for another one,
you are granted with the sparkle of eternal Youth....
The more starry paths you open the greater and more beautiful your Youth....
I smiled,said nothing but was sure that my wizard knew the whole truth for me and of me...and i knew without even saying a word to me,that there was a hidden danger to stop me from achieving all my dreams,i knew for myself which one i still longed for...
When i waked up that morning,nothing was the same as previous days;i felt like being suddenly touched by smell of some olden and rushing times,as came out from crumpled and burnt pages of a book to have stayed too long exposed to Sun's merciless rays.Particles of dust floated and soared high above my head,while walking on a unsightly path remembering me of some colored and lost time,and as every child being eager to feed own curiosity i looked to the right and left with hope to notice some recognizable objects,or signs to lead me into the course of unveiling my dreams.
As i was walking along the trail,all the colors changed their robes in a desperate call on me to replace them with new ones to refresh my memory and clarify sights around me.I recognized an aged tree of apricot to bear delicious fruits,then there was a tall and robust mulberry,a place to spend few hours in meditation,by sitting high on its hidden branches.Who doesn't like abundance of mellow purple and pink fruits?Can you imagine the simplicity of a moment,when you feel like a Queen while dangling legs in empty space bellow,to rise few meters from the ground!What would many of us give for such a pleasure and magic of the moment?
I hardly was aware how that lovely tree held me in its hug by trying to pass on me its own pains and hopes.. ...how many times i am unconscious about another man's griefs and expectations?For the all is live in my magic land,and every thing,every creature has personal story to tell us.
Whether life still exist,or i am a slender breeze in obscurity,just a faded copy of gloriousness that i was granted with,in a time to have gone.That is which makes me doubt in reality of my life,when everything seems so dummy,with people around me seemingly walk,talk and make other gesticulations,but the pulse of life has vanished or made into something resembling a realm where the prince of darkness potters and makes his dirty mischiefs.I constantly lose myself in that labyrinth of pale perceptions and an account of intensive feelings in my first views of life around.
There was a river,and still she makes her appearance while running by my village house,only the stories are different since the time i had some lovely days in her company.When i return there and look into its surface i see how the warmth and excitement of those early moments have complete fled,while vainly longing to bring back vividness and hilarity of past enjoyment;and i know i can only revive memories starring into a framed picture to hang on my room's wall.
Oh, how passionately i wish i were again in primary layout of my picture,abandoned there and free of time's measurements and changes,inevitably followed by the flow of passing years!From my distance now,i see these visions colored in gold and silver,as reflections of vivid and colorful vibrations they were once.
I looked for more haunted places that used to catch my attention and love;one of them found its place in the hills up my village where my grandma and granddad grew vine and meadow,patterned with tress of plumes,pears and apples.In the early Spring,it found me happy with lovely wild strawberries i picked and enjoyed in their scent.And they still occupy the same stretch;i can walk among them and enjoy in scenery,but can't feel previous alluring and marry impressions,except in my memory.The trees,strawberries and meadow rest now in their tawny and blanch decor.
The scenery stood the same but I am the one to be changed because the lucidity and sensibility of child's eye has gone forever.I don't say that my childish spirit abandoned the nest without leaving its fluffs to keep tracks and enriched me in these decrepit times..
Hence i feel that the all was someone's hoax,to let we go through life toward its supposed end,to grow,but persistently losing the glow and sparkles of life's pleasure and happiness.Somehow our basic picture got spoiled,and like anyone trying to recover a masterpiece,would only find themselves to never make anything better or return its beauty and purity given by first colors,painted with the precious moves of a brush.
What grows fantastic in this story,if you happen not to conceive it,is the sense of time's illusion and fascination.;that little child with personal memories and experience seems to me like coming from primeval times,and containing all the wisdom of life.
I see that child in hold of pristine wisdom written by invisible visitors and unknown by God,while a rapacious hand of foxy Devil seized a slice to allure and deceive ones who are brave to search for sacred knowledge.I assume it comes to us in flash of light traveling a distance between remote star and find its sprout here on earth.
My musing over past times,made me lose sense of reality ....where is beginning?where is the end?Did i go into right direction?What if the very beginning of my life was my greatest achievement,being but a pure divination.That child makes me upset to suspect in my present,my judgment and reason,to wonder myself who knew more and lived real life.Me or that child?It makes me feel living an untrue life,in which we mostly become lost in reaching true love,in learning,enjoying and celebrating the life itself.Being caught in an emptiness while trying to get to the top i climb all the time,i slide further and further into the deep,stuck in the frivolity and frost on the bottom.Such a condition makes i lose my reason,doubt my mind,cognition and observation,by suspecting myself about where is the mistake;and if there was any,whether it had to imply in my life or i made a choice once.
Still there is hope for all of us to walk on the tracks of childhood's glistening paths...
What You really need to learn is simplicity of FIRST STEPS a baby learns .!Make first steps,dare to walk,and everything will come to be as it was divined and drawn by one's hand to paint your canvas of life.Start anything,no need for a bulk of designs and plans ,just let your leg make one STEP and all the rest will unroll as it was predicted.That is the wisdom which the child i used to be told me in whispers,by slowing their sounds over the years to pass by,and like music forgotten but learned once,they might be refreshed in memory to teach us again about life,unwrapping the picture of FIRST STEPS in the earliest childhood!
Remote sounds and notes,smothering WHISPERS from past times,are still able to bring back to us first and inborn KNOWLEDGE from our ancestors,left in heritage,the road of which ,we can only find in FIRST CHILD IMPRESSIONS!
That is,as i see it clear now,why i kept in my mind that child as being AGED one, in my vision!The child showed pristine WISDOM leading through unawareness and subconsciousness of a naive and genuine being to just make first steps in life,more a reflection passed on us from first beings once walked on the Earth!
Illustration
my free creation
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